Recently I have been looking for a place to vent. I thought about throwing it up on Face Book, but then decided to many familiar faces looked there. Today I had an AH-HA moment and remembered this little blog I once wrote in a few times. What a perfect place to to get a few things off my chest. It will be personal, private and much needed. This is MY blog so my Vents are for that purpose and if it bothers anyone please choose to read another blog.
Where to begin!?!?! First things are going really well for my family and I. I will be completed with my Bachelors degree Oct. 13!! (I will walk in Dec.) I turn 30 in October AND my 3rd child is due in Oct. So in 6 months we will be busy!
Bobby and I are looking to move into a bigger house and stay close to where we are right now. My eldest starts school in August so we would like to get moving done before that. Wait, did I just say my eldest starts school... I WILL be that mom, balling her eyes out.. I just know it. LORD HELP ME!
What I want to vent about is a family member, not mine, my significant others. His mother. From the first day we met it was great. I saw compassion and care in her eyes. I trusted her and knew that she would do as she said. Well, I was wrong. It didn't take very long to see through the vision that was set before me... I should have known too, Bobby had always warned me. It has been a nightmare from the beginning and only gets worse. We do not get along, can't seem to be civil around each other and the straw that has broken the camels back happened not to long ago.
To make a long story short, my MIL knew that when we found out we were having our first child I did not want to stay where we were, AZ, and wanted to move back home, TX. She lived in GA and REALLY wanted us to move out there. At first it was not an option but after she promised us the world, financial securities, paying off our car, debts, student loans etc.. it seemed like a deal we could not pass up. SO based on the promises we moved. To make a longer story shorter, that bombed. No promises were kept. There were a few things she helped us with but nothing close to what we were told. We felt conned in going out there and were definitely given the ole "bait and switch".
To make matters worse Bobby and her decided to buy a house together. From day one I was against it and exclaimed to her that we should rent, she insisted we buy, offered to co-sign, making the deal again, to good to be true. So against my will they went in together and bought a house. We did love the house, Bobby wanted to "live in it forever", but things changed. We first made a deal that with Bobby's job and what they told him he would be making after a year we would only need her help living with us for the first year. So, that year came and went. Bobby's job was NOWHERE near where they said he would be, so that deal was lost. ( There was no way we could take on the $2000 mortgage on his small salary. ) We asked her to stay and made a new deal...
Well another year went by and this time on Nov. 22 2008 Bobby and I were both laid off from our jobs. I was laid off in the morning and he was laid off in the afternoon. It was very unexpected... After much thought about what was going to be next for our little family and given the circumstances we were in by living with his mother, we decided we had to move. There was no way we could afford to live there. We couldn't live there financially or emotionally.
We sat down with his mom and exclaimed this to her. We came to the agreement that once we move she would rent it out, the house or by room, continue to live in it (she could afford to live there by herself) or try to sale it after two years. This was our agreement. We made it in the presence of his Aunt and all was okay to move.
After Christmas we moved back to my home state of Texas and things were going really well. We found out we were expected our second child and were excited, it was a BOY!! Great News.
In an effort to make this long story shorter, I'll try... after one year of being away from GA we began to get calls and mailings about the house being foreclosed on... We eventually called his mom who told us that she "didn't want to pay for the house anymore". She had stopped making payments on it. It was 6 months behind by the time we looked into it. We were not happy. we dug a little deeper and learned that not only had she stopped making payments on the house but was "renting" it out too. Paying for the people's utilities and and then keeping whatever money was left over from rent to herself.... WTF!!!
When we confronted her about it she literally blew up in our faces told us, "I don't give a Sh*T about you" went on the exclaim that our credit was not that good anyways, so what!
This was not good...As more time went on and the rift between us grew wider we kept learning more and more... the most recent finding was in June 2011. I received an email that the the house we had lived in was burglarized so we were worried because his mother had told us that nobody was living in the home... well that was a lie. We found out through our neighbors that there had been a family living there. We contacted his mom who said she let these people move in but wasn't making them pay rent.... FREE LIVING....!! Well, we talked to the people living there and they said they were paying rent...WTH..!! Now we didn't know what to believe. The truth came out though, as it always does. His mom let this family of four move in, she was going to pay all or most of the utilities and they would pay $600 in rent. In the correspondences we read between the renters and his mom, she told the family that she needed the extra money to help the kids in Africa she supported and that the $600 would be very helpful. The people in the house told us specifically that his mom told them not to tell us they were paying rent... the people and the rent was suppose to be a secret... (nothing is a secret).
All the while Bobby and I were trying to think of anything we could to try to sale the home, whether it be a short sale or renting it out the correct way. We had been trying this for a while trying to salvage his credit and avoid the foreclosure. But we never could do that. After discovering all the lies and deception his mother continued to shovel us, we cut ties with her. We have not seen her since June 2011. We instantly tried to evict the people out of the home or get them to sign a lease. We could get neither done. Bobby flew out to GA, spent hundreds of dollars trying to get this matter resolved. When we asked his mom to help, she refused.
Instantly she washed her hands of the matter and hasn't had anything to do with it. We never could evict them and they never paid another dime in rent.
A few weeks ago we decided to go back and try to evict them and try another short sale or even thought about moving back in the home but realized the house was sold in Jan. in a foreclosure...
I find it hard to believe that someone could create all this Drama, walk away from it and never look back.
Is it right to be so mad at someone for this... can this be forgiven... ugh... wish this never happened...
As a mother I could never do this to my child. This is where I am so conflicted.
Where to begin!?!?! First things are going really well for my family and I. I will be completed with my Bachelors degree Oct. 13!! (I will walk in Dec.) I turn 30 in October AND my 3rd child is due in Oct. So in 6 months we will be busy!
Bobby and I are looking to move into a bigger house and stay close to where we are right now. My eldest starts school in August so we would like to get moving done before that. Wait, did I just say my eldest starts school...
What I want to vent about is a family member, not mine, my significant others. His mother. From the first day we met it was great. I saw compassion and care in her eyes. I trusted her and knew that she would do as she said. Well, I was wrong. It didn't take very long to see through the vision that was set before me... I should have known too, Bobby had always warned me. It has been a nightmare from the beginning and only gets worse. We do not get along, can't seem to be civil around each other and the straw that has broken the camels back happened not to long ago.
To make a long story short, my MIL knew that when we found out we were having our first child I did not want to stay where we were, AZ, and wanted to move back home, TX. She lived in GA and REALLY wanted us to move out there. At first it was not an option but after she promised us the world, financial securities, paying off our car, debts, student loans etc.. it seemed like a deal we could not pass up. SO based on the promises we moved. To make a longer story shorter, that bombed. No promises were kept. There were a few things she helped us with but nothing close to what we were told. We felt conned in going out there and were definitely given the ole "bait and switch".
To make matters worse Bobby and her decided to buy a house together. From day one I was against it and exclaimed to her that we should rent, she insisted we buy, offered to co-sign, making the deal again, to good to be true. So against my will they went in together and bought a house. We did love the house, Bobby wanted to "live in it forever", but things changed. We first made a deal that with Bobby's job and what they told him he would be making after a year we would only need her help living with us for the first year. So, that year came and went. Bobby's job was NOWHERE near where they said he would be, so that deal was lost. ( There was no way we could take on the $2000 mortgage on his small salary. ) We asked her to stay and made a new deal...
Well another year went by and this time on Nov. 22 2008 Bobby and I were both laid off from our jobs. I was laid off in the morning and he was laid off in the afternoon. It was very unexpected... After much thought about what was going to be next for our little family and given the circumstances we were in by living with his mother, we decided we had to move. There was no way we could afford to live there. We couldn't live there financially or emotionally.
We sat down with his mom and exclaimed this to her. We came to the agreement that once we move she would rent it out, the house or by room, continue to live in it (she could afford to live there by herself) or try to sale it after two years. This was our agreement. We made it in the presence of his Aunt and all was okay to move.
After Christmas we moved back to my home state of Texas and things were going really well. We found out we were expected our second child and were excited, it was a BOY!! Great News.
In an effort to make this long story shorter, I'll try... after one year of being away from GA we began to get calls and mailings about the house being foreclosed on... We eventually called his mom who told us that she "didn't want to pay for the house anymore". She had stopped making payments on it. It was 6 months behind by the time we looked into it. We were not happy. we dug a little deeper and learned that not only had she stopped making payments on the house but was "renting" it out too. Paying for the people's utilities and and then keeping whatever money was left over from rent to herself.... WTF!!!
When we confronted her about it she literally blew up in our faces told us, "I don't give a Sh*T about you" went on the exclaim that our credit was not that good anyways, so what!
This was not good...As more time went on and the rift between us grew wider we kept learning more and more... the most recent finding was in June 2011. I received an email that the the house we had lived in was burglarized so we were worried because his mother had told us that nobody was living in the home... well that was a lie. We found out through our neighbors that there had been a family living there. We contacted his mom who said she let these people move in but wasn't making them pay rent.... FREE LIVING....!! Well, we talked to the people living there and they said they were paying rent...WTH..!! Now we didn't know what to believe. The truth came out though, as it always does. His mom let this family of four move in, she was going to pay all or most of the utilities and they would pay $600 in rent. In the correspondences we read between the renters and his mom, she told the family that she needed the extra money to help the kids in Africa she supported and that the $600 would be very helpful. The people in the house told us specifically that his mom told them not to tell us they were paying rent... the people and the rent was suppose to be a secret... (nothing is a secret).
All the while Bobby and I were trying to think of anything we could to try to sale the home, whether it be a short sale or renting it out the correct way. We had been trying this for a while trying to salvage his credit and avoid the foreclosure. But we never could do that. After discovering all the lies and deception his mother continued to shovel us, we cut ties with her. We have not seen her since June 2011. We instantly tried to evict the people out of the home or get them to sign a lease. We could get neither done. Bobby flew out to GA, spent hundreds of dollars trying to get this matter resolved. When we asked his mom to help, she refused.
Instantly she washed her hands of the matter and hasn't had anything to do with it. We never could evict them and they never paid another dime in rent.
A few weeks ago we decided to go back and try to evict them and try another short sale or even thought about moving back in the home but realized the house was sold in Jan. in a foreclosure...
I find it hard to believe that someone could create all this Drama, walk away from it and never look back.
Is it right to be so mad at someone for this... can this be forgiven... ugh... wish this never happened...
As a mother I could never do this to my child. This is where I am so conflicted.
I will never understand how she can justify foreclosing on a house, especially when it is consigned with another person. I couldnt do that to my dog, much less my child and his family.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to be angry and even hurt by all of this. this kind of behavior from his so called mother can never be justified. you sought help in a time of need and were vulnerable to her lies because you didn't have many options at the time. you aren't at fault for that. It's terrible how she could ruin his credit which is a basic need of most important necessities of life. its sad that she would let yall drown and walk away knowing yall have a family to support. I think it is wonderful that you are graduating with your Bachelors degree. congratulations. that is one thing someone can never take away from you is your education and degree. :) I can't wait to get my Bachelors degree. Keep doing good for yourself and don't let anyone ever bring you or your family down again. you have so much to offer this world and will do great things. it will take time to rebuild your lives but yall can do it. have Faith. :) take one step at a time and her day will come to get what she deserves for what she did to yall. take care girl.
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